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SoYucky

I really need to get rid of my boyfriend!!! I love him don't get me wrong but he is so in love with me he just want me to eat and get healthy!  I was hospitalized because of an infection in my heart muscle and fluid in my lungs.  I had to eat while I was in there and I hated it now I look at myself after I shower and I can see FAT FAT FAT all over my whole body,  How do I get rid of someone that isn't around me anyway, (he is in Ma. attending school) how do I get him to really move on and be happy and just let me go.  I have tried and he always is there waiting for me to take him back like I usually do but I am so sick of being fat seeing my fat and I choose SKINNY over him.  How do I get him to move on he has been stressed over me worried over me that he has actually devolped physical sickness. I just want him to leave me alone and let me try to become what I want and that is skinny!! I am so sick of being fat that I would choose being skinny over anything.  I think that if I can not fix this problem that I want to just vanish and Id gladly just do that.  I want to be skinny summer is coming and I do not want to be the one sitting on the edge of the pool thinking I am hot I want to get in tere but I am too FAT!!!  I need to learn about this diet so I can do it right and just get skinny.  I need support and I am asking anyone on here to be my support system please I have very little FAITH in myself.  I need to gain control!!  My Yahoo Screen Name Is Browneyedbeauty2507 and I will give you my phone number so you can text me whenever you want if that is what you want.
I need Help Please!!!

 

Current Location: HERE
Current Mood: depressed depressed

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AGGGGHHHHH! I had a shitty night at work they have just been coming more an dmre lately as if someone is just gunning for me and well Now I was written up and damn it I need the fuckin JOB!! Sorry about the language but I just got in and what do I do I EAT!!! Damn it and if I didn't hate throwing up so much I would just toss it right back out! THIS SUCKS SO DAMN BAD!!!  I feel freaking HUGE!!! It is never going to stop!!! I have lost freakin control I have control of nothing!!!
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Here I sit ready to give in I really could use a supportive friend someone that feels the same as me and understands what I am going through
I have sprint and I have unlimited text messaging 
Please anyone I just need someone that understands

Current Location: here
Current Mood: drained drained
Current Music: tori amos

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  FAT I need  to lose all this damn fat I am sick of it I see as I am sure everyone else does!!!  What do you think I can do to lose all of this FAT?  Give me suggestions please!!!
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What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone?
 I stopped loving you a long time ago!  I gave up on us long before that!

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They want me to eat they want to tell me what to eat they want to watch me eat they want to see what I am eating FUCK THEM last night when I was chatting with the Man that loves me no matter what I ate four pinches of coconut flakes and three cashews that's a lot and I did it with out them I can eat without them I can do it on my own when I want to and you know what I DON'T WANT TO

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Current Mood: pissed off pissed off
Current Music: Rob Thomas

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